One of the most valuable lessons I learned after my divorce was that true fulfillment can never be in one person. I felt like I could not live without my ex-husband because he was my world at that time. Even before marrying Kevin, who I love with all my heart, I realized one person cannot be my whole world.
People will always disappoint you. They will hurt you or let you down, even when they’ve taken a vow to love you forever, even when there is a divorce or not. I know people who are single and desperate to get married. I also know people who are married and wish they were not.
There is only one being with the ability to meet all of your needs and that is God. Are you on intimate terms with Him? How much time do you spend with him? How deeply do you know him?
After I went through a divorce, I began to spend more time with God and experienced my Heavenly Father as never before. I thought I knew him—his love and care, his presence in my life. But as I shifted my priorities from looking to people as my source of strength, to depending on God for everything, I saw how little I’d known. During my times with him I began to see how personal God really is. When I reached out to him during my darkest season, he not only reached back, but he picked me up and carried me through.
I began to see God is the only anchor for the great voyage into the seas where life will take us. No matter where we are, or what relationship we are in, he must become our anchor because relationships and circumstances can shake us and threaten to sink us from time to time.
I often think about the story in John, chapter 4, the woman at the well that Jesus met on his trip to Samaria. She had gone through five marriages and was working on man number six when she met Jesus. She tried to fill the void in her life with relationships, only to fail again and again.
After she encountered Jesus, however, she left his presence a different person. She declared, “Come see the Man that is the Christ” (John 4:28-29). This woman experienced the only man who could truly fill the missing void in her life.
When you find yourself lonely, you must know that you are never alone. Morning, noon, and night, God and the Son and the Holy Spirit are available to you. There were many nights I lay awake in bed wishing it were morning. But when morning came, I wished it were night again. I wanted to hide in bed and not face the day. I learned in those days to talk to God 24/7 and he was always there for me.
My encouragement to you is to pursue God with all your heart. Begin with prayer. Talk to Him. Plan times and spaces in your day to do this:
- Do you like to take walks? Make them prayer walks. With each step, give God your cares. This will take you to a place of peace and comfort.
- Do you give yourself a break in your busyness? Take time during your day to express your love and thankfulness to God. He will refresh you like no other time out.
- Do you sometimes find yourself stuffing worries about situations as they come? Every time a worry enters your mind, tell God your private fears. Talk to him silently from your heart, as you would a dear friend. He is your friend who sticks closer than a brother. The Bible tells us he wants to be your best friend (Proverbs 18:24, John 15:15).
- Do you need a coffee break to face the day? I love to drink my Folger’s coffee in the morning with God as I talk to him and read his Word. I feel as if we are old friends spending time together.
You may not feel God is listening at times. But he hears you. Lovingly, he is working out things for your benefit.
Excerpt from You Are Made For More